Girls Days

One of L's requests during Christmas vacation was to have some "Girls Days". She made a list of about 10 things that she would like to do - paint ceramics, go to the art museum, go to Exploration Place, go roller skating, get a manicure together, etc. We only got a couple of those things done during vacation, thanks to the stomach flu and a pretty aggressive cold, but we had so much fun on our Girls Days! We went to McPherson to a store called Joyful Creations. We've been there before on a previous Girls Day with Grandma to make bracelets. On this day, we each picked a piece of unfinished pottery to paint. We then left them at the store and we will go back in a week and pick them up. L can hardly wait -she asks every day when we are going to go get them! L chose to paint a puppy, which she then realized was actually a piggy bank! She chose to use the store's special tools to make polka dots, which was a test of her patience, but wound up being so cute!
On our other Girls Day, we went to Wichita to the art museum, where we had never gone before. We met my sister and her kids there. They have an amazing kids hands-on exploration room, and some mind-blowing glass artwork in their ceilings. We had a really good time, and L and I would like to go back some time and explore some more - it's hard for the younger cousins to be patient in the quiet, hands-off museum!
It was so much fun exploring new things with L - I'm going to start scheduling a special day at least once a month to explore something new with L - she is so curious!

Christmas gatherings

My family had our last Christmas gathering of the season yesterday. It was a day of many breaks with tradition ...a bittersweet gathering. For the first time ever, we did not have our gathering at my mother's house. She is in the middle of an unpleasant divorce, and her husband is still frequently at her house, so we were uncomfortable gathering there. My sister has a beautiful home with enough room for us to comfortably gather there, so my mother, brother, and my family drove to my sister's home an hour away to celebrate. Also, my youngest sister chose not to join us, another awkward difference this year. I think that she is leery of being ambushed by us, in regards to her disrespectful choices lately, and so she chose not to attend. So all in all, it was a day that was rather bittersweet - I love spending time with my family, especially my sister and his clan, who I don't get to see often. But it's hard to make those changes that have been caused by unpleasant events.
I had a wonderful Facebook conversation with my dad the other day, in regards to helping the young people in your life make good choices. It would be so nice if I could just suck my life experiences out of my head and stick it into K's head - I know that if I try to talk to her about it, she won't actually listen to me. But it is so hard to watch her make self destructive choices, and just sit back and allow it to happen. I wish that there was an easy formula for knowing at what point to force my involvement, even against her wishes. I know that her choices are things that she is going to regret later in her life, and I wish that she didn't have to go through them now. I have distinct memories of my dad saying something very similar to me while I was in college, and of responding with a very mature eye roll and a total lack of understanding, or even attempt at understanding.
I have a hard time knowing how much of the family situation to allow L to hear about. I don't want to burden her with undue stress - I had enough of that at her age, and I know how it can impact a kiddo's personality. But I am also hoping that if she hears a bit of it, that maybe someday K's choices will help L not make the same mistakes. She IDOLIZES K, and I hope that maybe by hearing about how much anguish K is causing other people, she will make the connection and carry that impact with her to influence her own choices some day.