Quirky

My kiddo is currently in the throes of a bedtime quirk.  She sometimes does this; she has a tendency to overthink and then cause herself hours of distress and inability to sleep.  So she's lying in bed, as I type, unable to sleep because she's worried that she MIGHT end up being the last person awake, and she doesn't like to be the last person awake.  But her concern about being the last person awake is making her unable to sleep, which is making me CRAZY.  Because I love sleep, and I've had a really long day, and all I want to do is go to bed.  But, of course, I don't feel like I can. Because then L would be the last person awake.  She told me that it's  easier for her to fall asleep when she can either see the flickering lights from Stuart watching TV in the living room or hear me typing.  Stuart has fallen asleep on the couch in the living room - but the TV is still on - and I'm typing, so she should be golden.
Yesterday L and I drove to Maize to do a little shopping, and planned to meet up somewhere with my sister and her gorgeous little monkeys so that I could get in some sister time and we could give the kids their Valentines Day presents.  L and I made them each a scarf and a stuffed animal owl, so I really wanted to see their faces when they opened their packages.  Her older kiddos were in school and the little one was napping, so L and I did some shopping while we waited.  We decided to grab some lunch after shopping at Old Navy, and went to the car to find somewhere nearby.  But the darn thing wouldn't start. Not even try.  And it was 18 degrees, with a wind chill of 4 degrees.  And I hadn't brought a coat, because, you know, what are the chances that I'll really NEED it??
Thank goodness for hero husbands, the kind who drop everything and attach a trailer to the back of their pick-ups and drive almost an hour to pick you up from the mall parking lot, without even grumbling in front of you.  The kind who insist that you sit in the warm truck while they hook your car up onto the trailer in the freezing cold.  The kind who, after all that, STILL refuse your offer of half of the cinnamon scone you got at Panera for  lunch.  Now THAT'S a good husband.
(And he spent all day today fixing it, even though he really wanted to be working on his race car.  I'm married to such a great guy!)
So L and I spent the day today in Hutch with my mom.  She said that she was going in to Hutch go buy groceries and that we could come along and get our groceries for the week, too, if we wanted.  We got home 7 hours later.  I kid you not.  I love my mother, and I love spending time with her, but it was a really long day. I am sure that she feels the same way.  Never underestimate the privilege of completing your own errands, and ONLY your OWN errands.
L made a felt stuffed cheetah today.  Yesterday she dreamed it up, chose the fabric, sketched a pattern, and cut it out.  Today she and I stitched it (she had a rather horrible needle/finger poking incident, so I did some of the stitching) and stuffed it.  Her, I guess, not "it" - L named her Chichi.  Which, she informed me, is kind of like a pun - "you know, since chi-chi means kind of rich and snotty and it is also a nickname for cheetah".  :)
I love that kid.

Snow Day, take 2

Lauren and I are at home today, luxuriating in the unusual extravagance of two snow days in a row.  I can't remember if we've ever had a snow day since Lauren started school, until this year...  And to be quite precise, it isn't exactly a "snow" day, it's more of a "cold" day.  The current temperature, at noon, is 9 degrees, with a wind chill of -7.  This morning, the wind chill was around -20.  And it is supposed to be 22 degrees tomorrow, but with a wind chill during the day of around -17 degrees.  We're out of school because of the prevalence of children who have to wait outside for buses - I can't imagine how horrible it would be to wait in -20 degree winds.  We ventured out a couple of times for errands yesterday, all bundled up in snowboots and thick gloves and hats and scarves over our mouths & noses - all I could see of Lauren was her eyeballs.  It was COLD, but I didn't want to cancel my haircut appointment!  :)
We spent most of yesterday cuddled up near the heat vent - one of the pros of living in an old house.  It's rather shockingly drafty, but we do have this ancient forced-air heater, with just one vent, located in the middle of the middle room in the house.  The poor man's version of a fireplace...
When I was tucking Lauren into bed last night, she said, "This is the best day I've had in a long time!" It was so nice to take things at a slow pace - we read books and baked cookies and made chili and watched "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" and did part of a dance video together.  I got all caught up on my grading and started the book "Alice I Have Been".  (However, I'm trying not to read it during the day, because I know I'll get sucked into it, and I won't enjoy the time hanging out with Lauren).
We had a lazy morning this morning; the only thing we've really accomplished it that we went to Nana's so I could run.  I figure that running 2.7 miles is enough of an accomplishment for a snow day morning, right?
My goal is to clean off the dining room table today, roast a chicken for dinner, and do a little sewing.  I really SHOULD be making some flipcharts for class, but I'm just not sure that's going to happen.  Tonight is American Idol night, and I think that vegging on the couch might be in order for that hour.
I just finished re-reading two really good books by the same author: Nefertiti and then The Heretic Queen, both by Michelle Moran.  I am finding out that I love historical fiction, and these were a great blend of that genre and my fascination with ancient cultures.  I saw a review for Alice I Have Been, about the girl who inspired Lewis Carroll to write Alice In Wonderland.  I'm only about 30 pages in, but it's already got me in its grips...yesterday, I had to tell myself "When you finish grading these spelling papers, you can read 10 pages."   I also have the Kingdom Keepers book, which a friend recommended to me about a year ago, and I'd let slip through my filter.  It's about a boy and girl who are in charge of guarding the Disney Parks, which sounds a little iffy, but I trust this friend's judgement, so I'm going to give it a try.

Zumba

One of the things about parenting is that you are so in the thick of it that I think it's sometimes hard to see the growth you are making - I suppose this is probably true of almost anything, but for some reason I'm really feeling it right now about parenting.  And I know how cliche' this sounds, but I want better for my kid than I had.  Not that I was destitute, or missing anything critical.  But I want my child to have every advantage I can give her, and I'm thinking more about experiences and character than about money. One of those experiences is seeing a model for intentionally healthy living.  I never saw my parents exercise or pursue a sport; however, they both worked hard - gardening, cleaning, etc - and were healthy people. But I never was encouraged to try any sports, and that was never a path that I chose to travel, not even in college or as an adult. However, lately, I have discovered that I enjoy running. The solitude, the rhythm, the time to think. And Lauren has been asking to join me.  We had to set some boundaries, because one of the reasons I so prize my running time is because it is equivalent to solitude for me.  So she alternates days with me when the weather is nice, and she plays with Nana while I run on the treadmill when the weather in inclement. Lately, though, she's been asking to run on the treadmill after me, and usually walks/jogs about .75 of a mile. Pretty impressive to me.
And I started taking some Zumba classes this week, for variety.  Last time was scary and made me feel very incompetent, but I got back on the horse and tried again tonight and it was MUCH better.  And Lauren joined us - hopped up on the mat floor and gave it her all.
I'm feeling proud to be providing her with something I didn't have.  She sees me work hard, but she also sees me value my health and my time with my friends doing this. I'm feeling good about filling in a hole for her that I wasn't sure I was going to have the capability of patching.

More Zoo

So that previous post was turning into a short novel; I had to break it up into more than one day! 
After visiting the jungle, we went to see the giraffes.  Lauren just finished reading the book "The White Elephant" about a mystical giraffe and a young girl with the power to heal it and other animals.  Of course, she is obsessed with it now, and was really looking forward to going to see the giraffes.  There were 3 calves playing outside, frolicking around in the snow, obviously a little flustered when they put their muzzles into the cold snow.  We watched the zookeepers exercise the elephants, then went into the Africa building.  They were hosing out the rhino, elephant and hippo enclosures, moving the animals around to vacate the different spaces for cleaning.  It was great timing - interesting to watch.  However, here's our interesting fact for the day: Rhinos mark their territory, much like dogs.  Every single time their space is hosed down, they re-mark it.  With their urine.  Which is white, like milk.  And is forcefully sprayed, much like a small fire hose, and will spray the people standing near the exhibit.  Ick.
I much preferred the giraffes.

This is my favorite giraffe picture from our visit!
So after the rhino experience, we went to see the chimp and orangutan exhibit.  This wound up being, by far, Lauren's favorite part of the day.  There was an orangutan sitting beside the glass in the indoor area.  It was hunched over and appeared terribly bored.  No one else was around, so there was room for Lauren to go sit in front of the glass, right beside it.  She spent about 30 minutes looking at him, sitting so that she mirrored him, showing him her stuffed owl, putting her hands up beside his, etc.  It was moving to watch her try to communicate with him, and it was fascinating to see how similar they were - they were almost exactly the same size.  When I stood near her, her reflection in the glass exactly fell over him - it was almost eerie.  She was teary by the time we left; really moved by how human he seemed, his eyelashes when he studied her, the way he did things with his hands that we do, too.

I always wonder how much the experiences she has now will shape her life later. I remember things that happened to me when I was her age.  I wonder if she'll remember this, or other things she is exposed to - art, different cultures, choices she sees others make, music, different cities and states and landscapes... I know that pretty much every girl her age says that they want to be a veterinarian, and that is her current belief, as well.  I wonder how much her experiences with animals in the past year will influence her - puppies, helping the vet with surgery, the orangutan, the fox, etc. One of the things I feel strongly about as a parent is giving her some exposure to cultures/choices/artwork/hobbies/quirks that are atypical in our area, so that she knows there is a big wide diverse world out there for her to explore, and so that she doesn't feel like she has to conform to what is typical here in our little farming community in Kansas.

The zoo on my "surprise" day off

Yesterday (MLK, Jr Day) was an unexpected day off for me.  When our district set our calendar for the year, it was a Professional Development day of meetings.  However, due to all of the budget craziness, teachers in my district did not get a raise or get to move on the pay scale again this year.  So, as a compensation, the union negotiated for us to get MLK, Jr Day off.  I am sure that they communicated this with us at some point, however, I totally missed the memo until last week, when we got a reminder email - an extra day off!  Since I had planned to already accomplish my necessary weekend nuttiness in the normal 2 days, I hadn't planned tasks for Monday, so it was an entire UNSCHEDULED day!  L and I decided to take advantage of it and go to the zoo in Wichita - the weather was supposed to hit 47 degrees, so we figured it would be fairly comfortable.  The day before had a high of 32 and today's high of 32 was already hit early this morning, with the temperature falling now.  There were only about 20 cars at the whole zoo, and it was an amazing experience to roam the zoo with hardly any other people there.  We spent 3 1/2 hours there and Lauren says it's the best zoo visit she's ever had.
We got to feed the ducks, something Lauren doesn't usually do, since she's frightened of them.  When she was tiny a duck bit her while she was feeding bread to them, although I'm not sure that "bit" is actually the technical term... :) Anyhow, she typically avoids them, but they were very calm and no one else was around, so she got brave and knelt down and let them pick the little pellets out of her palm.  Very empowering for her.
We got to linger in the American Farms barn, looking at horses and donkeys and mules and longhorns, etc, etc.  They were all scratching themselves yesterday, much to Lauren's amusement.  It's funny how the little things can bring such big giggles.
Then we went to the jungle, Lauren's favorite place at the zoo. Lauren has long been fascinated by bats, and the jungle has a large group of bats.  When Lauren was little, she used to stand under them and try to squeak to them at levels that they could sense with their echolocation (or some such explanation), but she's outgrown that stage.  However, we now stand under them and try to communicate with them through significant eye contact, apparently.  They are really cute little things - fruit bats -with sweet faces and inquisitive eyes, and the cutest twitchy ears.  The jungle was so empty of people that we got to see things we've never seen on any of our prior visits - birds, fish, acouchi skittering around all over.  Lauren was most mesmerized by the fish, though.  There is a tunnel you walk through, where the water is on both sides of and above you.  Often, it is packed with people and we don't spend much time in it.  However, we meandered through this time, and got to see quite a show.  Lauren had stopped by a particular window pane, and an enormous catfish seemed to take it upon himself to provide a show for her.  He swam in gigantic circles in front of her, over and over, for nearly the entire time she stood there.  For some reason, all of the big fish were on one side of the tunnel, and it was interesting to see them follow swimming patterns and run into each other and hit against the glass occasionally.

Tonight as I was tucking L into bed, I was struck anew by what a daunting, precious responsibility it is to have a child love you. She trusts me implicitly, and unwaveringly places her heart and her faith in me.  What a blessing to have been given - and also what a responsibility to make sure I do my utmost to guide her and provide for her and be worthy of that trust. Nothing is more precious than having her ask for one more cuddle before she goes to sleep and hearing her whisper, "I love you so, so much Mommy."

Great laugh quote

As I was just tucking Lauren into bed, we were laughing about something and she said, "My laugh is too big for my ribcage!"  :)
I love that - these moments of laughing so hard our faces hurt, loving being together!